“See them first” is a phrase I learned several years ago from an incredible, kind, mentor of mine.
I admit, when she first shared this phrase with me, (and others, in her book) I didn’t really understand how to put it into practice when facilitating or designing an experience for others.
To her (and now, to me) “See them First” is a critical piece of gaining psychological safety, trust, and clarity with a group or an individual up front, whether it’s in a coaching, training, or leadership capacity.
So what does this phrase mean? Do I just need stronger contact lenses? Perhaps. Ask your doctor. But also:
At the core of it, I need to ask myself these questions:
- Do I, as a Leader, a facilitator, or a coach understand my learner? Have I made this understanding clear to them?
- Have they given me an opportunity to share something that matters to them? Read: Have they shared a learning objective, or told me something that I’m missing knowing about them at the start of a session? When a professor who was absent for the first day of a 2-day workshop walked into the class she asked, “what do I need to know about you, as a group of learners?”. Perfect example.
- Do your learners have “skin in the game”? I see this time and time again. Give them an opportunity to make the learning personal. It needs to matter to them. Framing and context matters, but more so is an opportunity for the learners to identify and latch onto something personally relevant to help them make meaning of the material. Seeing them first means encouraging personal relevancy.
- Have I started with where the learners are instead of where I want them to be?
- Have I made it clear I’m listening? And do I incessantly tie back to what I heard, and what I’ve promised?
Turn your learners, clients, and mentees into collaborators immediately by making it clear that you have listened and allow space for personal relevancy. Open the door to allow and encourage them to join you in co-creating the experience.
Show them that you “see them first” and then let your learners have a peek inside your process by allowing them to see YOU too. Show them the roadmap for the learning and continue to make your thinking visible as you progress, (“here’s what we’re going to do today, here’s how we will get there, and let’s talk about why”).
After all, everyone deserves an opportunity to be seen and heard.